Doing Less, Helping More: How to Step Back and Let Your Clients Step Up

As coaches and mentors, how often do you fall into the trap of doing too much in sessions—brainstorming, summarising, guiding, structuring, solving? What if you knew that doing less could actually create more value for your client?

Coaching and mentoring is not about having the answers; it's about creating the conditions for insight, ownership, and action. And often, that means purposefully stepping back and letting your client do the work.

Here are four simple, powerful ways to do less in the session—and help your clients do more.

1. Stop Listing Options—Ask Them To

When a client hits a decision point, it can be tempting to jump in with a list of possible paths. But this reinforces dependency and subtly suggests “I know better.”

Instead, try asking:

“What options do you see?” or “Let’s brainstorm three or four possibilities — what comes to mind?”

Once they've listed options, invite them to prioritise:

“Which feels most viable right now?”

You may be surprised to find their ideas are just as strong—and may be better for them—than what you would have suggested.

2. Don’t Summarise—Let Them Do It

At the end of a rich discussion, you might naturally want to wrap up with a neat summary. But when you do that, you’re doing their processing for them.

Instead, try asking:

“How would you summarise this conversation?” or “How helpful has this been?”

This small shift puts the responsibility for reflection back where it belongs: with the client.

3. Let Them Name their Next Steps

It’s easy to default to asking, “So, will you do X before our next session?” or suggesting action items. But change is more likely when it’s self-directed.

Instead, ask:

“What next steps will you take after this session?” or “What will you take away from this—and what will you do?”

Then follow up with:

“And how will you keep yourself accountable for that?”

You’ll find the steps are more meaningful, and your client will seem more energised and committed.

4. Discuss this with a supervisor

Making these changes sounds simple, but habits are sticky—especially when we feel the pressure to “add value.” That’s where supervision becomes invaluable.

In supervision, you will step back and ask:

• Why do I feel the need to do more than my share?

• What would it take to trust the client more?

• What fears or assumptions are driving my behaviour in sessions?

A good supervisor helps you notice your patterns and holds you to account for staying client-led, not ego-led.

An Example: Using Supervision to Shift

Let’s say you tell your supervisor that you’ve noticed you tend to fill silences by suggesting next steps. Your supervisor asks:

“What about silence is uncomfortable for you?”“What stops you trusting the client to fill that space?”

You realise you’re anxious they’ll feel unsupported. Together, you explore what “support” really looks like—and commit to experimenting with longer pauses.

At your next session, you resist jumping in. The client sits with the silence… and then says, “Actually, I think I know what to do next.”

That’s progress. And it started in supervision.

What one thing will you do differently after reading this blog? And how will you hold yourself to account? Set a real commitment, and follow it through - you'll be surprised what a difference it will make to your clients!